IF YOU DON'T STOP KICKING EACH OTHER, I'M NOT STOPPING AT WALMART!
by vixevilcat7
Summary: In honor of Mischa Collins who plays Angel of God, Castiel. This story is inspired by his off the cuff remark. In other words, the title. Hope you enjoy it!


IF YOU DON'T STOP KICKING EACH OTHER, I'M NOT STOPPING AT WALMART!

A fight with a witch goes wrong. Castiel is frantic and Gabriel is amused. Dean and Sam just want a new toy. I had intended to stop just as they reached Walmart since that basically took care of the title but then I thought 'What if Castiel actually took Gabriel, Dean and Sam into the Walmart?' yeah, the things I think of at work!

"I hate witches!" Dean snarled. He was covered in a gooey slime thrown at him by Mestivia before he and Sam took her down.

"Well, she's gone now so we won't have to worry about her anymore." Sam said, shaking off his own share of gooey slime.

The boys got the worst of the slime off and got into the Impala. They took a moment to rest. Mestivia had been particularly hard to fight because she had covered her tracks almost too well. They had almost given up and decided there was nothing to be done when they, FINALLY, stumbled into her lair, completely by accident.

They drove back to the motel and went to their room. Castiel was already there. He'd been following his own case and was about to go after his brother, Gabriel, who was causing a big fuss two towns over. He watched as the brothers laid down to rest before finding a place to eat. He glanced at Sam but his eyes lingered, worriedly, on Dean. He always seemed to fight harder and get hurt worse than Sam. Then again, he always tried to take the brunt of every fight in a misguided attempt to protect Sam. Castiel had only seen a few occasions where Sam was beaten up worse than Dean in a fight.

He closed his laptop, which he was finally getting the hang of (thanks to Sam), and left the motel, locking the door behind him. He flashed himself into the warehouse where Gabriel was hiding out and confronted him. As usual, Gabriel was simply bored and wanted some company. He and Castiel sat down, drank and played cards until the wee hours of the next morning. He finally talked Gabriel into coming back with him. They flashed back to the motel and Castiel wondered how to explain this in such a way that the boys wouldn't go haywire and insist that Gabriel leave. As it turned out, he needn't have worried about it.

"So, they're still in bed? I thought they liked being up and at 'em. Especially can't see Dean sleeping in." Gabriel joked as Castiel realized the door he'd locked was still locked. Normally, the boys were up and moving, getting ready for their next case. It was worrisome but he opened the door, cautiously, in case something had happened in his absence.

Something had, indeed, happened. Something that would have to either wear off or would require the help of another witch. He and Gabriel stopped short just inside the door. They stared at the two little boys who were sitting up, blinking sleepily at them from the twin motel beds.

The older boy looked about eight years old, the younger one about four years of age. Both boys had sandy blond hair, the younger boys slightly darker. 'Was this actually Dean and Sam?' Cas wondered frantically. Gabriel burst out laughing. "Oh my, what have we here? A spell gone wrong, perhaps?"

The little green eyed blond hopped out of bed and crawled onto the other bed. He stood protectively in front of the four year old and held his little fists in a fighting stance. "Don't get no closer! I'll fight you both!" he blurted defiantly. This made Gabe laugh even harder, he was now in danger of falling over and rolling in the floor.

"Dean, what happened?" Cas asked gently, not wanting to scare the child. That was such a Dean move! There was no doubt now that these children were Dean and Sam. Dean blinked at him. It was obvious that he was confused by the question.

"Where are we? Who are you? Where's dad? You've hurt him, haven't you?!" Dean jumped off the bed, charging at them furiously. Cas caught the boy and held him tightly.

"Dean, no, we haven't hurt your dad, we, he was, uh busy, so he sent us to watch you for him." He blurted the first thing he thought of, in hopes it would calm the little boy down. By now, Little Sam was sitting on the bed, sobbing in fear. Gabe watched, still chuckling as his big brother tried to lie convincingly to an eight year old.

"A little help, Gabe, please?!" Cas turned desperately to his brother. He wasn't sure how to handle this situation. Gabe took pity on him. He turned to face Dean.

"Hey, Dean, I'm Gabe. This is my big brother, Cas. Your dad is on a hunting trip. He's going to be gone a few days. He asked us if we'd mind taking care of you and Sam for him. Whaddaya say, little buddy?" he said it calmly and politely. Dean stopped and stared at them. He seemed to consider the question quite seriously.

"You promise, he'll be back? He won't leave us forever?" Dean's lip quivered slightly.

"Yeah, he'll be back. Until then, it would really please him if you and Sam were to let us take care of you for him." Gabe assured the boy. Dean stared at Gabe for another minute, then slowly nodded his head. Cas let out a sigh of relief. Then Gabe stood up and headed for the door.

"Whoa, whoa, where are you going?" Cas questioned him suspiciously. Gabe looked at him. "I didn't figure you'd want me around the boys. I might be a bad influence on them."

"Stay, Gabe, please. I know we don't always get along but you are my brother. I can't do this without you." Cas begged. Gabe hesitated. "Ok, I guess I could. You're right, we are brothers. We'll call a truce till this gets resolved." Gabe tipped his head towards Dean and Sam.

Meanwhile, Dean had climbed back onto Sam's bed. He was holding his little brother, calming him down. Cas paced around, mumbling to himself. Gabe sat down and watched him as he kept an eye on the boys, chuckling ever so often.

"Hey, Cas? Have you noticed anything?" he nodded toward Dean. It was only when Gabriel pointed it out that Castiel realized Dean wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing. He walked over to Dean's bed and raised the covers. Dean's pj bottoms were laying there. He looked at Sam. He was sitting in a pool of cloth, evidently his pjs as well.

"Oh, no! We need clothes for them, they can't just run around naked until this spell wears off!" Castiel groaned. Gabriel was belly laughing again. "Well, we could use a couple of their shirts to make loincloths for them."

"They can't run around in loincloths, Gabe! We have to go get some clothes for them!" Cas tried to think of something, an easy solution that got the boys back to normal as quickly as possible.

"So, where should we look, big brother? Why can't I just snap my fingers and poof some clothes onto them?" Gabe grinned mischievously.

"Because if they make you angry and we're in public, you're just as likely to poof the clothes right back off of them, little brother." Cas looked at him pointedly.

"Oh, come on! It was one time! And you deserved it, you know you did!" Gabe laughed remembering his big brother's mad, naked dash for the nearest room quite clearly. Served him right for ratting Gabriel out to their father.

"Ok, I'll go with you somewhere and get some clothes for them. But, again, where are we going?" he repeated.

"Dean is always talking about this place called Walmart, it's just down the road not far from here. We'll go there after breakfast. Do you want to stay with them while I go get some food or would you prefer to get the food?" Cas asked. He figured Gabe would practically run to get out of the room. Instead, Gabe offered to stay with the boys. With an uneasy feeling, Cas left to hunt down some breakfast.

He knew Dean would eat bacon, eggs, sausage and pie, he wasn't sure about Sam so he got him an egg biscuit and a piece of pie. Gabe would eat any kind of sweets so he got what he knew used to be one of his brother's favorites, strawberry pie. He bought the same breakfast for himself that he had gotten for Dean.

He went back and knew he was going to walk into chaos. He could hear the boys screaming as soon as he stopped the car. He rushed to the door and hurriedly opened it. They were screaming even louder. 'Good lord, what was he doing to them!'

He stood inside the door, watching his brother spin around in the middle of the room, a boy under each arm. It was the first time in a very long time that he could remember seeing Gabriel laugh and have fun so naturally. It brought back memories of him playing with Gabriel when they were young. It just didn't seem fair, that after they were so happy growing up, they were now at each other's throat more often than not.

"Foods here." He softly announced. Gabe sat the boys down gently and guided them to the seats at the table. Cas got everything set out, then there was silence as they all dug into their food.

When they finished eating, the boys got down and started playing again. Cas noted, belatedly, that Gabe really had poofed some clothes onto the boys. He rubbed his eyes. 'How was he supposed to get them back to normal size? Would the spell time out or would he have to hunt down another witch to reverse the effects?' He and Gabe cleaned up the breakfast mess as he pondered what to do. Suddenly,,,

"Owww! You hurt me, Dean! Stop it!" he whirled around in time to see Sam burst into tears. He hurried over to him.

"Sam, what happened?" he asked.

"Dean pushed me down, Cas! It hurted! A lot!" Sam sobbed into Cas's shoulder.

"Dean, why did you push Sam down?" he asked patiently. Dean pouted and looked away stubbornly. "He wanted my car! It's MY car, not his!"

"Dean, he's littler than you. You can't push him down! You have to be easy with him." Cas explained to the boy. Dean just snorted and went to watch tv. Cas sighed. 'How had Mary and John done this?' then remembering what he knew of the boys, he realized that Mary wouldn't have been there to teach Dean to share and John would have been too grief-stricken and wanting revenge to show him, either. Living on the road as they had, Dean wouldn't have had many toys to worry about sharing. He would have been more worried about helping care for Sam.

Sam pushed away from Cas to go to the bathroom. Cas sank back down into a chair in the kitchenette. Gabe had walked and dropped onto the couch with Dean to watch cartoons. He needed some expert advice on this. He wondered if Bobby would know any spells to reverse the de-aging effects.

Just as he got out his phone, it occurred to him that Sam had been in the bathroom an awfully long time. He went over, knocking on the door. "Sam, are you ok? Do you need any help?" a laugh answered him. He pushed the door open and his jaw dropped. "Sam! You don't roll off all the toilet paper!" he scolded the giggling child. Hearing the commotion, Dean and Gabe had come running. They were now laughing at the sight of the bathroom. Sam had rolled off three rolls of toilet paper and 'decorated' the bathroom. He had banners strung from the toilet to the sink and then the tub.

Cas sent him to watch tv with Dean while he cleaned up the bathroom. When he came out, it was to the sigt of Sam with a Sharpie, marking all over himself. "Sam! No, no! We don't mark on ourselves, NO!" He dug up a washcloth and started washing the marker off. "Who gave him the marker?!" he glared at Dean and Gabe, who immediately pointed at each other, grinning mischievously. Cas rolled his eyes. Dean had a right to be immature, he was only eight at the moment. Gabe was another story. He got Sam cleaned up and then he announced, "All right. Everyone in the car. We're going to Walmart."

Dean and Sam both immediately started cheering. John must have taken them enough for them to be familiar with it. The next problem was the Impala. It didn't have a carseat for Sam or a booster seat for Dean.

"Easily fixed, brother." Said Gabe as he poofed the needed equipment into existence. They got the boys fastened in and he climbed in himself. As he stared at the steering wheel, he realized this might be more difficult than he thought. "Gabe, you've been here a lot longer than me. Please tell me you know how to drive a car."

Gabe looked at him in surprise. Then he smiled. "Yeah, I do." They switched seats and Gabe drove them out of the motel parking lot. The boys weren't happy about the car seat or the booster seat. Apparently, john might not have used them. He'd probably used one with Dean, then it was passed to Sam. He might not have bothered with a booster seat, if the way Dean was fidgeting was any kind of indicator. Soon he heard the boys fussing.

"Stop it, Sam! This is my half of the seat. Quit touching it!" Dean ordered.

"Dean, I'm thirsty. When we gonna be there?" Sam whined.

"Cas! Are we there yet?" Dean asked.

"No, we're not there yet." Replied Cas.

"Cas, are we there yet?" Sam asked.

As Gabe snorted with laughter, Cas rubbed his eyes. "No, Sam, we're not there yet."

"When are we going to be there, Cas?" asked Dean.

"We'll be there in just a few minutes, Dean, it's just down the road." Cas told him tiredly. The boys were quiet for a few minutes. Then,,,

"CAS, are we there yet?" Dean and Sam chorused together.

"No, we are not there yet!" Cas snapped. The boys were quiet.

"Ow, quit it, Dean!" Sam screamed as he kicked back at his big brother. Dean laughed as Sam's foot fell just short of touching him. He kicked him again, shaking his seat.

"Stop it, Dean!" Sam was on the verge of tears.

Cas whipped around. "Stop arguing, boys! We'll be there soon!" he turned to face forward.

From behind him, there was a mischievous giggle. Then a _thwack! _

"Cas, Dean is kicking me!" Sam screamed as he tried to kick his brother back.

Cas spun in his seat. As he stared the boys down, he said something he never thought he'd ever say.

"IF YOU DON'T STOP KICKING EACH OTHER, WE'RE NOT STOPPING AT WALMART!" he hollered. Gabriel couldn't help it. He had to bust out laughing. His brother was so pissed off! The boys were silenced with that threat.

Cas directed him down the road until they saw the Walmart sign. He pulled in, found a parking spot and they piled out of the car.

"Alright. When we go in, there will be no running around alone! We stay together! Gabe, you hang onto Sam. I'll keep Dean with me." Cas said firmly. The other three nodded. As he stayed behind to lock the car doors and pocket the keys, Gabe and the boys wandered over to the door. By the time he turned around, they had already gone inside.

As soon as he waked in and the smell hit his nose, he knew he was in trouble. 'Freshly baked sugar cookies were Gabriel's biggest weakness!' Sure enough, when he caught up to them, Gabe and the boys were both stuffing their mouths full of sugar cookies. As the sugar rush set in, the three ran off, laughing wildly.

"Boys, get back here!" Cas called to no avail. He rushed after them. He could hear voices ahead of him where the pillows and blankets were. He found himself looking at a blanket fort in the middle of the aisle. When he crouched down to tell them to put the stuff back, Gabe led the charge as he directed the boys to 'run away, the big, bad wolf is after us!' they ran away, screaming and hollering. Cas hurriedly put the stuff back on the shelves and ran after them. Suddenly, from the electronics department, there was a sudden blare of music, as if every radio had been turned up full blast!

"Gabe!" he screamed. He knew his brother was the only one tall enough to reach the stereos. He ran into the department, in time to see them run out the other end. They raced away to the toy aisle. Every single toy that had a push button saying "Try me" was hit. As he got there, the three were having a blast, waving light sabers around, yelling "The force is strong with this one!'

He snatched the light sabers away and was apologizing to the Walmart associate who showed up. He turned around and they were gone again.

"Oh, no, this was such a disaster!" he wailed.

Suddenly, three figures flashed by him. He stared, open mouthed, as they raced away on two bikes and a tricycle.

The people of that particular Walmart still recall that day. They were totally dumfounded as a Tickster/Demi God/Angel sped by them on a blue ten speed bike, followed closely by an eight year old on a smaller red bike. A four year old on a green tricycle raced after them, yelling "Gabe, Dean, wait for MEEE!" Behind all of them, breathless and thoroughly pissed off, came an Angel of God, dressed in a trench coat, screaming at the top of his lungs, "GABRIEL, DEAN, SAM! GET OFF THOSE BIKES RIGHT NOW! WE'RE NEVER, EVER COMING TO WALMART, EVER AGAIN!


End file.
